(no subject)

Repetition repetition repetition.
Life is a whole bunch of that right now and I'm ready for it to end. I got my dui paid off so now I can finally get on my feet. I need a better job so I can afford insurance. I hopefully have an interview with Starbucks sometime this week. Wish me luck ghost friends.


This Generation Cryo show is really inspiring me to track down my real father. I know his name, I know where he lives and works, and I have family that has kept tabs on him for the last 24 years just in case I've ever seriously wanted to find him.

But do I?

(no subject)

No matter how old I get, how much life experience I gain, how many trials and tribulations I've been through, I still feel like I can't function. Everything falls apart all at once and then slowly, one by one, gets better just to fall apart again. Life is one hell of a roller coaster and I don't know how much longer I can keep this safety harness on. I definitely thought I would be much further and much happier while turning the corner to 25. I need a change. Badly.

lost in the wild

<3<3Henry Rollins<3<3

No one will ever get me quite like this man does. I must meet him someday.

“The blues is losing someone you love and not having enough money to immerse yourself in drink.”

“I believe that today more than ever a book should be sought after even if it has only one great page in it. We must search for fragments, splinters, toenails, anything that has ore in it, anything that is capable of resuscitating the body and the soul.

“If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do.”

“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”

“Hope is the last thing a person does before they are defeated.”

“I am ready for whatever's coming. I expect nothing but to be let down or turned away. I am alone. Goddamn. The shit hurts sometimes, but I realize what I am, what I have become. The alien man waved his arms up and down and noticed that he couldn't wave in the right language so he stopped.”

“I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.”

“It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything to anyone but yourself.”

Keepin' it fly.

It's a perfect day for letting go
For setting fire to bridges, boats
And other dreary worlds you know
Let's get happy!
It's a perfect day for making out
To wake up with a smile
Without a doubt
To burst grin giggle bliss skip jump sing and shout
Let's get happy!

I know I shouldn't do it, but I can't help it.
That's going for a lot of things in my life right now.
I guess I'll look back in a couple months & see where all this leads.
For now, I'm happier than I have been all year, for many different reasons.
  • Current Music
    ::watching Rob & Big at Schlinds'.::